Did You Just "Bro" Me?!?

So, I'm sure if you live in beautiful ol San Diego,  you've encountered one or two hundred douchebags. This place is crawling with them. Like douchebag paradise,  douchebag-a-rama, and City of Douchebags..I think you get it! And it's not only one type of douchebag, there are a few. Well lucky me, I got "bro'd" to death on this amazing (NOT!!!) date. I thought that they never left their chosen region. You know like the bar, the gym, the beach, or downtown. But, I was oh so very wrong! This one found me online. ONLINE!!! I guess I should have known from all the party pics on his profile.

He was just a bit younger than me, and if you know me I'm not into babysitting but figured "hell, why not"? I usually date men who are my age or older but we all need to take a dip in the fountain of youth every once in awhile. BIG MISTAKE!

As you all know, I let the guy pick the location of the first date so he chose Firehouse in PB. That was his first red flag and it only gets better. Now I love Firehouse for their food, amazing staff and the great views of the ocean. I think he ruined it for me.

So I met him at the bar downstairs.  He walked in with his farmers tan and all. I reached out to shake his hand, and the little fucker gave me a high five and greeted me with a "What's up bro?" Wait, did this shit biscuit just "bro" me? WTF?!?!!!! Immediately I was ready to walk out, but I do love shots and the staff so I stayed. 

We were doing back to back drinks and shots although I was one up, but who's counting? Bro this and bro that just escaped his mouth every chance he could get. Ugh, why do I do this to myself?!?

So, I'm a very experienced drinker (hopefully I don't sound like an alcoholic) but I can definitely hold my liquor.  We did one more shot, and he had to excuse himself to the little boys room. I sat there and shot the shit with Gilmo. I noticed that he was in there for quite some time. I asked one of the guys to go check on the him and he came back to report that my date was blowing chunks.

We had only been sitting there for about an hour and a half and I wasn't even buzzed (now I definitely sound like an alcoholic) and this fucktard was spewing his guts all over the men's bathroom. 

He finally made it back, stumbling and holding onto the wall. He made it to the bar stool and slumped down. I asked if he was okay, and what I thought might have been English he slurs, "yesh blah blah blah". WTH!!! There is no way this guy can be that messed up already. So we start giving him water and in the middle of our conversation he looks at me with this blank stare. I watch his eyes slowly roll to the back of his head and SLAM..his head hits the table! He face planted right there on the bar. Gilmo and I look at each other, he pours me another 7&7 and continue shooting the shit. I closed out my tab and I left him right there at the bar. Looks like I didn't have to babysit after all! Amateurs...hahaha!