I'm definitely not a size queen and never have been. When your vagina is as shallow as a kiddie pool like mine, you don't have many choices left but I always make the best of it.
For me, it's not about the size of the wand, it's about how much magic the magician has. It's not about the size of the boat, how big his feet and hands are, and what's the measurement between his wrist and elbow...I could keep going on. Plainly, size doesn't matter... for me that is.
Now, I have dated some guys where their meat flutes were the size of a roll of dimes or smaller. I hear "awwwws" already from you readers. Those that are a little small, make use of those throw pillows girls. Put them under your butt and raise that va-jay-jay in the air (Note: don't use the throw pillows with sequins, they'll give you a nasty sequin rash or rip the shit out of your lower back). I have also dated men that were of a normal size...Thank God for BUZZZZZZZZZZZ....toys to get the job done! But this one, this one was the BWW, aka Big White Whale. My Moby Dick!!!
I met Moby on Match and thought there might be some chemistry. I said, to hell with it...So what else am I going to on a Wednesday night, knit?!? (I definitely don't knit.) So I made my way downtown to the Marble Room. In walked my date. Beautiful olive skin and a car sales men smile to match. Whatever he was selling, I was buying. But what was I seeing? As he approached the booth was that a huge bulge in his slacks. Maybe he has really big balls? Maybe this was the Chupacabra of Match. WTF!!! What was that going down the left side of his leg? No way that his penis. Maybe he keeps a bat in his pants. I mean it was as long and as wide as an Italian salami. Jesus, I think my vagina just cringed.
He sat down, shook my hand and I prepared for conversation to come. As usual, the alcohol started flowing and so did the sexual innuendos. I had to ask him about the long tube in his pants because it was definitely staring at me. Moby explained that most women are intimidated by his length especially at 13 inches soft. WTF?!? 13 INCHES!!! This guy had a shower dick. Now just in case you don't know what that is, it's when a guys meat stick is so long that even in the shower and multiple positions it won't ever vacate the vaj. I'm thinking to myself, I'm not trying to ride this meat pony. He continued to talk about his issues that he's had his whole life. I asked him if he ever thought of doing porn? He looked at me and asked, "how did you know?" Wait, what...IM OUT WITH A PORN STAR!!!! He explained all about his 29 movies he's starred in. All the positions that were best for his costars, that he's clean and just got HIV tested. WHAT!!! I just sat there with a blank look on my face and listened but in my mind, I was already in my car halfway home.
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